It’s Friday, the sun is blazing (it’s like 53 degrees), you can just feel summer starting to crank up and Screencaps gets rolling with news that one of our favorite biological females who rose to fame during the transG era, Sydney Thomas, IS BACK and now she’s playing poker against other celebrities.

Thomas, 22, is still in that period of her career where she’s trying to find her place. Is it in modeling? Is it in acting? Can her agent get her placed in an Adam Sandler movie? Would she form an alliance with Sydney Sweeney and join the SYRN lingerie team?

She’s already done the boxing ring girl thing. That wasn’t going to be an actual career. Thomas’ agent needs to place Sydney behind home plate at Dodgers games. Get her into suites at Rams games. She needs to be at the World Cup this summer. Sydney should throw out a first pitch at a Cubs game.

I’m talking a playbook straight out of 2010 when Internet models throwing out first pitches at Cubs games was a rite of passage into pop culture fame.

SYDNEY SWEENEY AND LIVVY DUNNE FORM ALLIANCE AS LINGERIE WAR WITH VICTORIA’S SECRET OFFICIALLY HEATS UP

I get to the ballpark where Screencaps the III was practicing and I quickly learned that Mrs. Screencaps had been sitting through the 90-minute practice with the van in accessory mode. 90 MINUTES! The battery was completely dead.

Ironically, I posted this pickle jar meme on Facebook earlier in the day. Ladies, it’s nice to know you still need us from time to time.

By the way, here’s what the lawn looks like this morning. I was sitting there appreciating my work and then the call came in.

DANICA PATRICK IMPRESSES THE MAHA CROWD BY TAKING UP TENNIS AS HER NEWEST FITNESS WORKOUT, BAT DOGS & MEAT!

– John in Surfside Beach, S.C. is fired up: It’s only 5pm on the first day, already sick of the ESPN broadcast.  My God, do they ever stop talking!

Kinsey: I didn’t see coverage until around 10 p.m. after my night getting the van jumped, mowing, taking the trash out, etc. I did see Smylie Kaufman hitting shots on the Golf Channel and doing a great job explaining the course and the conditions the guys faced on Thursday.

I’m turning into a big fan of Kaufman’s broadcasting style: cool, calm, collected. The guy is smooth. I’m even a big fan of the Happy Hour bit that Golf Channel is doing with Smylie. We just aren’t getting much live content like that on TV these days. I LOVE the relaxed approach Golf Channel is taking with Smylie. Keep it coming.

– Chris A. tells me: I absolutely will not go to Costco on Saturdays or Sundays, and Fridays are turning into no-go lately. My semi-retirement schedule has me off Tuesdays and Fridays, so I thought this past Tuesday morning would be a good time to do my monthly Costco discount shopping. Nope. Packed. They clearly need more locations, at least around me.

At least they brought back the Jones sandwich-sized sausage patties and ashcanned the terrible Kirkland ones they rolled out several years ago to replace the Jones patties. They are perfect for the sausage, egg and cheese on English muffin sandwiches I make at home.

Kinsey: Same here, Chris. What I’ve found is that if I go at like 6 on a Saturday night, I’m typically good. People are burnt out for the day. They’ve taken their two-pound queso barrels to parties. Unless I’m in a pinch, I go during off-hours on weekends.

– Speaking of Costco, Mike T. in Idaho stopped by one in Canada and reports: They still have polish dogs at Costco Canada $1.50 Canadian.

Kinsey: That’s $1.09 USD!

– Mark in Tennessee reports: The Franklin Noon Rotary Club puts on an annual rodeo as our primary fundraiser. This event has grown from some local cowboys having some fun to the largest rodeo east of the Mississippi. We will gross well over a million dollars and net $4-500K for our charitable foundation.

This is our 75th rodeo, and I have worked 36 consecutive events. Three nights of hard work for a great cause. And I can legitimately say “this ain’t my first rodeo.”

– Jon C., who is not a LIB loser, writes: This popped up in my newsfeed and thought it might be of interest since the evils of travel ball are frequently discussed.  Some of our elected leaders are proposing legislation to regulate travel ball.  Still on my first cup of coffee so hard to make it make sense, seems the answer is for parents to be adults. 

– Mike T. in Idaho sent in a Substack link to Pacific Northwest sports writer John Canzano’s Substack where he rails against private equity in youth sports.

Canzano writes: The youth sports money grab must stop. The skyrocketing costs need to take a rest. The predatory squeeze for profit should take a break. Things such as mandatory hotel stays, streaming subscriptions, invasive apps, and participation fees that price out low-income families should all just go away.

The scene has turned into a vulture’s paradise.

IVANKA TRUMP HAS THE ANGRY LIBS ON HIGH ALERT AS SHE SLIDES INTO AN AMAZING DRESS, WAFFLE HOUSE CHAOS & MEAT!

Kinsey: My reaction? Who has been screaming about this for the last 3-4 years now? I HAVE! Screaming and screaming. Screaming to the point where Screencaps readers got tired of me screaming, but this is a hill I will die on. Yes, it’s nice for some of these people who’ve had their head in the sand to see the light of day on this topic.

Yet again, this column was ahead of everyone on another topic. I’m getting like 10 emails a day on Wendy’s.

– Brandon in NKY reports: Reading about the 13u rec league exploits got my brain on the way back machine. My son graduated from high school last night. It seems just like yesterday I was helping coach his school team in Knothole T-Ball. Those were fun days, trying to keep the boys engaged instead of making piles of sand or picking dandelions was a tall task in practice and during the games. After the game you tell them to get a drink and a snack from the concession stand then buy a round for the other coaches. Fast forward a few years and I can no longer coach because he was poached by a travel/summer ball team and the days of camaraderie are gone. I say that to say this, I never enjoyed watching his team play after knothole, it all seemed like an exhibition game, no true rivalries, no league title to play for. No after parties since we were at a treeless softball complex for 12hrs on a Saturday in the heat. You seem like you’ve got an awesome thing going with your boys and parents, keep fighting for it and also enjoy it because one day they’ll graduate and all you will have left are the memories. Make Rec Ball Great Again. 100% sponsored by Brandon in NKY.

– Christopher T. emails: Great piece but I wish you had included the part about her being a caregiver to her mom who had early onset dementia. That needs a voice and you have a bullhorn.

– Steve in Clarkston, Mich. says: I’ve followed her since she started. Man, if only I was younger. She is the closest thing to a perfect woman there can ever be.  Don’t forget that in addition to being SI Swimsuit model beautiful and can repair cars and plumbing she’s also a brainiac. She was on “MythBusters” and also at 18 won a bronze in an international science and engineer competition. She invented a new football helmet to reduce injuries.  

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That is it this morning. I have a big day of joining the Dakich show coming up, meetings, Zooms and a plumber running a new water line so Mrs. Screencaps can add drip lines to a previously inaccessible part of her garden. The goal is to automate the watering process to this behemoth she’s created.

Today, we make that happen. I hope all of you have had a great week of life. Let’s go enjoy a weekend. Enjoy those youth sports events. Enjoy those graduations. Take care.