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Kristi Noem ‘Devastated’ After Humiliating News Surfaces About Her Husband
I’ve had no intention of piling on Kristi Noem.
She did a terrible job, especially with ICE and FEMA, seemed obsessed with promoting herself–whether at a Salvadoran prison or on horseback at Mount Rushmore–and President Trump fired her. He probably waited too long, but he did oust her as secretary of Homeland Security. End of story.
Until now.
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I know this reeks of gossipy tabloidism, but it directly involves the ex-secretary and, what makes it dead serious, it raises the prospect of blackmail. And it follows the romantic rumors that she has dismissed.
The Daily Mail, which has amassed a ton of evidence, reports on the “secret life,” to use that headline-grabbing cliche, of her husband, Bryon Noem.
There are several photos of Bryon Noem, sporting pink hotpants and enormous fake breasts.
Mail reporters interviewed several “fetish” models who claim to have had an online relationship with Noem, tied to women fantasizing about becoming Barbie dolls with gigantic curves (far eclipsing the actual skinny dolls). It’s called “bimbofication.”
The piece says Mr. Noem is said to have paid these women thousands of dollars for their services, sometimes making salacious requests. I’ll spare you the unsettling details.
Kristi’s reps told the New York Post: “Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.”
The president told the Daily Mail he was surprised to hear the Noem family confirmed the shocking report into his lewd online behavior.
“They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if that’s the case, that’s too bad,” Trump said in a phone call.
But here’s the key part. Noem, says the Mail, made little attempt to conceal the extracurricular activities, giving women her husband’s phone number with a voicemail message that identified his business.
The main concern, and the reason this is newsworthy, is that Kristi could have been subjected to blackmail.
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Former CIA officer Marc Polymeropoulos told the paper, “If a media organization can find this out, you can assume with a high degree of confidence that a hostile intelligence service knows this as well.”
An editor at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze said, “The entire GOP is full of degenerates, at this point probably more than Dems. And in this case, all of this was known long before she was appointed. It was an insane appointment.”
All right, I think we’ve all had enough of that.
Let’s turn to the new DHS secretary, former senator Markwayne Mullin.
As the New York Times reports, “Mullin has worked toward a less flashy debut: briefing members of Congress on the effects of the government shutdown, attending White House meetings and doing a video talking up the people he now oversees. ‘I think I have the greatest employees working at DHS. ever — I mean that sincerely,’” he said in a video.
Mullin still has to manage a mass deportation program that has plummeted in public approval–especially after the killing of two American citizens in Minneapolis. And he largely agrees with Trump’s hardline views.
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At his confirmation hearing, Mullin said: “My goal in six months is that we’re not in the lead story every single day. “My goal is for people to understand we’re out there, we’re protecting them and we’re working with them.”
It will be a difficult balancing act – especially since, for the moment, DHS funding is frozen – except for TSA workers, by presidential decree – as the two parties can’t agree on a way to resolve the partial government shutdown.
What’s clear is that the Kristi Noem era is over, with a new boss who wants to avoid headlines rather than seek them out.
Footnote: Jimmy Kimmel is taking heat for making disparaging remarks about Markwayne Mullin.
“Let me make this very clear, I’m not upset that the head of Homeland Security used to be a plumber. I’m upset that he isn’t still a plumber,” Kimmel said. “That’s right. We have a plumber protecting us from terrorism now. It worked for Super Mario. Why not Markwayne?”
This was widely criticized as denigrating the working class.
“Secretary Mullin represents the best of blue-collar America, and failed comedian Jimmy Kimmel chooses to ridicule him for it,” a DHS spokesperson told Fox.
What’s more, Mullin took over the debt-ridden family company and expanded it into a major regional operation, including real estate and environmental services.
Kimmel doubled down, despite the criticism. “I wouldn’t put a plumber in charge of Homeland Security for the same reason I wouldn’t call a five-star general to pull a rat out of my toilet. OK? We all have our areas of expertise.”
Jimmy just has a tin ear on this one.
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Fan spotted with laptop, apparently logging work hours from Wrigley Field stands during Cubs day game
The Chicago Cubs opened the 2026 season with a six-game homestand at historic Wrigley Field.
Among the thousands of Cubs fans who passed through the turnstiles at the famed ballpark on Chicago’s North Side was at least one who took Wednesday’s “businessman’s special” afternoon start to heart.
Temperatures in the Windy City didn’t climb above 40 degrees Wednesday, and one fan, bundled in a coat and hat, multitasked on his cellphone and laptop, apparently working after the 2 p.m. first pitch.
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The moment mirrors one from last season, when cameras caught a fan who, instead of winter gear, wore shorts and worked on his computer during an August 2025 game at Wrigley Field.
The fan even brought a computer mouse along as he intently focused on his computer while the Cubs faced the Milwaukee Brewers.
The game broadcasters, however, questioned what he was up to.
“There’s only one question: Is this guy working?” one broadcaster said. “Or maybe he’s reviewing his fantasy football draft.”
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The Cubs’ broadcast network crafted a tongue-in-cheek work email: “Hi, per our last email, we have a hard stop. Let’s touch base Friday before the Cubs-Guardians game. All the best, Marquee.”
The Cubs celebrated a 6-2 victory over the Los Angeles Angels on Wednesday to take two of three games in the series. Matthew Boyd struck out ten batters and picked up the win.
The Cubs were off on Thursday and resume action on Friday in Cleveland as they open a three-game series with the Guardians.
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Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., claimed it was “not fair” to argue that Senate Democrats were holding up Department of Homeland Security (DHS) funding for “political posturing” on Thursday.
Schumer spoke to CNN’s “Situation Room” about the ongoing Department of Homeland Security shutdown after Senate Democrats demanded tighter restrictions on Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and U.S. Customs and Border Patrol (CBP).
Though the shutdown has caused disruptions within the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), ICE and Border Patrol have been largely unaffected after previously receiving funding last year in the One Big Beautiful Bill, leading Blitzer to ask Schumer what the purpose of the shutdown was.
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“What do you say to those critics who argue that both ICE and Border Patrol are already set with funding millions and millions of dollars because of President [Donald] Trump‘s so-called Big Beautiful Bill that passed months ago?” Blitzer asked. “So Democrats just held up this legislation for what? For political posturing? Is that right?”
“Well, that‘s not fair at all,” Schumer answered. “We held it up because we wanted, as I mentioned before, to reform ICE and CBP, which are lawless. The American people are totally on our side. I think by 2 to 1 or close to that, they want it reformed. And that‘s what we‘re pushing for. We‘re not going to fund a lawless ICE and a lawless CBP, and the American people are overwhelmingly on our side on that.”
“But they‘re already funded. Right?” Blitzer repeated.
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“Well, if they put funding in from their other bills and want to keep funding a lawless ICE, a lawless CBP that creates chaos in our cities, it‘s on their back. We‘re not going to participate in that,” Schumer responded.
Last week, Trump signed an executive order providing pay to TSA agents, many of whom had not received a paycheck since February. Despite the strain on workers, Schumer refused to give Trump credit for the order.
“We‘ve been trying to do it for three weeks, and Trump has opposed it. We proposed funding all of those other agencies, not ICE and CBP, until they reform, but all the other agencies. And they said no. And so, the best way to get them paid was for [Speaker Mike] Johnson to put the bill that the Senate passed this morning with [GOP Senate Majority Leader John] Thune‘s leadership on the floor, and we pass it,” Schumer said.
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In a comment to Fox News Digital, a Thune spokesperson pointed to comments the Majority Leader made earlier on “America’s Newsroom.”
“[For] Democrats…it was all about ‘reforms,’ restrictions on ICE and on CBP agents and what they could or couldn’t do. They got none of that. They got zero of the reforms that they were advocating for. In the end, this was all about their left-wing base demanding that no funding be provided,” Thune said.
The Senate agreed via voice vote on Thursday to send a bipartisan deal funding the whole of DHS except for Trump’s immigration enforcement and border security efforts to the House for consideration. The chamber is not expected to vote on the legislation until House lawmakers return to Washington on April 13.
As Tiger Woods steps away from golf and won’t be playing in the Masters next week, another golf legend won’t be on the grounds at Augusta National Golf Club.
Three-time Masters champion Phil Mickelson released a statement Thursday saying he won’t be playing in this year’s tournament.
“Unfortunately, I will not play in the Masters Tournament next week and will be out for an extended period of time as my family continues to navigate a personal health matter,” Mickelson’s statement on social media said.
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“I wish everyone the best of luck and will be watching.”
Augusta National Chairman Fred Ridley also released a statement after Mickelson’s decision.
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“We know how much Phil loves the Masters tournament, and he will be missed by everyone in Augusta next week,” Ridley’s statement said. “He has our complete supports as he takes time to be with his family.”
The 55-year-old Mickelson missed four LIV Golf events earlier this year, and he noted he was dealing with a “family health matter.”
He was on the course in South Africa two weeks ago, leading his HyFlyers GC squad for the event. Mickelson finished tied for 48 in the event.
Mickelson’s Masters announcement comes after Woods stepped away from golf “to seek treatment” following a DUI arrest after a rollover crash Friday in Jupiter Island, Florida.
Woods, a 15-time major winner and five-time Masters champion, and Mickelson sat atop the golf world, beginning in the late 1990s and through the 2010s. While Woods usually sat atop the world golf rankings, Mickelson was his toughest competitor, winning six majors over his storied career.
So, two golf icons won’t be at Augusta National come next week, when the 90th edition of the Masters tees off Thursday, April 9.
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