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‘Michael’ Review: A hollow informercial packaged as a biopic of the King of Pop

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The King of Pop is back from the dead to play the greatest hits. And that’s about it.

“Michael” is the first of a two-part biopic of the late music icon Michael Jackson. And it’s truly a family affair. Not only was it produced by the Michael Jackson estate, all of his siblings are listed as executive producers (minus Janet Jackson — due to pre-existing drama with the estate — she doesn’t even appear in the film!) and his own nephew Jaafar (son of Jermaine Jackson) was cast to play the “Man in the Mirror” himself.

The problem with keeping it in the family is that at the end of the day, they didn’t really make a movie. They made an infomercial.

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The origin story begins in 1966 in the Jackson living room in Gary, Indiana. Young Michael (played by an infectious Juliano Valdi) and his four brothers faced barking orders from their demanding father Joe Jackson (Colman Domingo), who they all call “Joseph.” In their formative years, Joe drills in them, “In this life, you’re either a winner or a loser.”

What follows is a hyper-sanitized timeline of Michael Jackson’s career trajectory, with virtually every one of his hit songs either performed onscreen or played in the soundtrack, from “ABC” and “I’ll Be There” from the Jackson 5 days, to “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough,” “Beat It” and “Billie Jean.” We get everything on the cultural checklist from multiple references to “Peter Pan” and Neverland, his CGI pet chimp Bubbles, the making of the “Thriller” music video, to his hair being caught on fire while shooting the Pepsi commercial. And sprinkled throughout is his domineering father (set up as the film’s villain) trying to dictate his career being tied to the rest of the family. But overall, he simply glides through life with hardly any conflict, at least according to “Michael.” 

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Jaafar Jackson makes his big screen debut playing his uncle — quite big shoes to fill. He nails the speaking voice and all the dance moves, but the film’s lack of emotional depth leaves Jaafar with a solid impersonation of the pop superstar rather than a true acting performance.

What sticks in my craw with these music biopics is that they so often rely on the original recordings of the deceased artists and have the actors essentially lip-sync the songs. Think 2018’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” The parallels shouldn’t come as a shock since both films were produced by Graham King. It personally takes me out of the film knowing they’re essentially lifting the entire soundtrack and slapping it on another person — though supposedly several songs blended Michael Jackson’s voice with Jaafar’s, but most viewers won’t be able to tell. I sure couldn’t.

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Another trap “Michael” falls into like “Bohemian Rhapsody” is that it completely avoids controversy — at least in part one, which leaves off on the 1988 “Bad” tour — nor does it even attempt to delve into his psyche beyond the surface level stuff we all know, like his weird childlike behavior. But based on reports on the behind-the-scenes drama that occurred, including rewriting the ending to remove the 1993 sexual abuse allegations, it seems doubtful part two will touch the sensitive subjects. “Michael” is more sugar-coated than a Sour Patch Kid. It’s as if ChatGPT spat out a screenplay after skimming the Wikipedia page.

The biggest disparity is the amount of A-level talent involved in such a non-cinematic film. You have veteran director Antoine Fuqua (“Training Day,” “Olympus Has Fallen,” “The Equalizer” films), Oscar-nominated screenwriter John Logan (“Gladiator,” “The Aviator,” “Skyfall”) a star-studded cast, including Domingo, Miles Teller (as Jackson’s longtime manager John Branca), Nia Long (as his mother Katherine Jackson) and Mike Myers (as CBS Records CEO Walter Yetnikoff), as well as an outstanding makeup department, yet the film can’t go more than two or three minutes without hawking another Michael Jackson hit hoping audiences will rush home to listen to his music. This money-making scheme by the Jackson estate is truly genius.

Music biopics should take a page out of the “Rocketman” playbook, the under-appreciated 2019 Elton John jukebox musical. Unlike “Michael,” it was actually artistic and poor Taron Egerton poured his heart out (he did his own singing by the way!) and got completely snubbed by the Academy while lip-syncing Rami Malek won Best Actor and “Bohemian Rhapsody” earned a Best Picture nod. I don’t forget these grave injustices.

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“Michael” is less of a movie and more of an elaborate plot by the Jackson estate to replenish its coffers by reaping the benefits of a legendary music catalog. Superfans of the King of Pop will get their sugar rush, but don’t kid yourself into thinking this is anything more than what it actually is.

“Michael” is rated PG-13 for some thematic material, language, and smoking. Running time: 2 hours, 7 minutes. In theaters now.

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How Trump survives: Battling the media, former allies and assassination attempts

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Donald Trump has been written off a thousand times and always managed to bounce back.

He hung on when he first got in the race and was mocked as a sideshow. When the “Access Hollywood” tape came out. When his supporters attacked the Capitol on Jan. 6. 

He outlasted two impeachments and four criminal cases. He won reelection when that seemed like a long shot. He’s the Harry Houdini of Washington. 

And on Saturday night, he survived his third assassination attempt. At a dinner that was expected to feature the president mocking the media, his calm response to being targeted by a heavily armed shooter generated enormous sympathy for him. It’s a dangerous job, he said.

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In fact, he “fought like hell” to continue with the Correspondents’ Association dinner, but the Secret Service – one of whose members was shot but saved by a protective vest – insisted on clearing the room. 

At the same time, Trump has such mounting political problems that it’s hard to avoid the conclusion he’s in a free fall. 

The president is bogged down in an unpopular war and canceled the latest talks. Rising gas prices are inflicting pain at home. He may be losing the redistricting wars. Some of his most prominent supporters in the conservative media have turned on him with a vengeance, even apologizing for having supported him.

That’s not all. The Democrats are virtually certain to win the House. They are talking about impeaching Trump the day they’re sworn in. Sure, he’d be acquitted in the Senate, but his last two years would be a blizzard of investigations and payback.

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What’s more, the president can’t run again. He’ll still have the power of incumbency, but the House can block most of what he wants to do (and this is beyond the media fantasy that the opposition party could take the Senate as well).

In the ever-present polls, Trump has dropped as low as 33% approval in an AP survey, his worst numbers ever.

More eye-popping is a new survey with a large sample, from Strength in Numbers/Verasight, which says 21% of Republicans support impeachment, with 72% opposed. Among independents, 50% back impeaching the president.   

And a Fox News poll found more respondents trusting the Democrats over the Republicans on the economy, by four points, for the first time in 15 years.

This comes against the backdrop of Trump having fired three women in his Cabinet, creating a sense of disorder, and his wife giving a televised speech to deny any involvement with Jeffrey Epstein.

But let’s have a reality check.

Trump’s relentless attacks on the press have taken their toll, with many dismissing the coverage as fueled by personal hostility. And Democrats, with few exceptions, aren’t helping themselves by appearing to root for the Iranian terrorists when our service members are at risk.

By November, the Iran war could be a distant memory. The economy might enjoy an uptick. Even now, with the ceasefire collapsing over the Strait of Hormuz blockade, the stock market has hit record highs.

Trump will use his media mastery to dominate the news agenda. He already takes calls from reporters at all hours. 

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The Democrats, meanwhile, are leaderless. Even if Hakeem Jeffries is speaker, the president will make far more news. That won’t change until the 2028 primaries, when a front-runner or two emerges.

Trump can make news with executive orders, such as moving marijuana to a lower classification and boosting research into psychedelic drugs.

The betrayal being voiced by his onetime allies on the right, who embraced his pledge of no new foreign wars, may be less important for those not immersed in the online world. But it is a bellwether for the splintering of the MAGA coalition.

Now some of its leading members are calling him erratic and reckless.

No one is loving this more than the Democrats and the Never Trumpers, who say wait, you’re just noticing this now? We’ve been telling you this for years.

“Trump looks desperate to run for the hills,” says New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd. “He constantly says he has defeated the mullahs and ‘obliterated’ their military power, and yet Iran refuses to be subdued.”

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What’s obvious, says veteran columnist Andrew Sullivan: “Trump is completely out of his depth. He went to war impulsively. He never expected the Iranians to close the Strait of Hormuz; and then they did. And he can’t re-open it. In fact, he decided to close it again. Or something.”

Throw in the AI image of Trump as Jesus, which offended many Catholics, and the list of unforced errors just grows. He’s even attacked the Supreme Court, a third of which he appointed.

And there is growing concern about the health of the president, who will soon turn 80, with television running footage every time he closes his eyes at a meeting.

Trump regularly talks about building his massive ballroom, which reminds people of his surprise demolition of the East Wing and plans for a monument that would dwarf the Arc de Triomphe. He brought it up after the gunfire on Saturday night, saying the ballroom would be bulletproof and extremely secure.

Trump also used the gunfire at the Washington Hilton to underscore his own importance. Having studied assassinations, he said, “the most impactful people, the people that do the most… they’re the ones they go after.”

Politically speaking, Trump is clearly struggling. But anyone who rules out a rebound for this president is ignoring history.

There will be all kinds of twists and turns in the remaining six months before the midterms, and the Democrats are unpopular as well. 

But here’s a moment of rare consensus: We can all be grateful that the Secret Service did its job well.

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New York woman convicted for throwing dynamite at boyfriend, blowing off his hand as he tried to get rid of it

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A New York woman was convicted after authorities said she threw a handmade stick of dynamite at her boyfriend while he was sleeping, causing his hand to be blown off as he attempted to get rid of the explosive.

Keyonna Waddell, 35, of Deer Park on Long Island, was found guilty by a jury on Friday of first-degree assault and first-degree criminal possession of a weapon in connection with the March 2024 incident.

Waddell had threatened the victim with dynamite several times in the months leading up to the incident, according to the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office.

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“Domestic violence can escalate to deadly levels, and this case is a sobering reminder of that reality,” Suffolk County District Attorney Raymond Tierney said in a statement.

On March 22, 2024, Waddell and her boyfriend were involved in an argument inside his apartment, according to the Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office.

After the dispute, the man left the apartment and told Waddell to leave. When he arrived back home, Waddell did not appear to be there, and he went to sleep.

He was later woken up by a hissing sound and noticed a flame on the floor of his bedroom. He then realized that a stick of dynamite had been thrown into his bedroom and attempted to toss the explosive device out of the window, but it detonated and blew off most of his hand before he was able to throw it out of harm’s way.

The victim then ran out of his home to the driveway, at which point he saw Waddell running away.

He was subsequently rushed to the hospital, where the remainder of his hand and part of his arm were amputated.

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Waddell was arrested the following day, officials said. Her sentencing is scheduled for May 27, and she could face up to 25 years in prison.

“Thanks to the outstanding work of our prosecutors and the Suffolk County Police Department, a dangerous individual has been held accountable and will face a lengthy prison sentence for this horrific act,” Tierney said in his statement.

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Diego Pavia accepts Ravens rookie minicamp invite after making unfortunate NFL Draft history: reports

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Diego Pavia, the polarizing former Vanderbilt quarterback who was runner-up in Heisman voting last season, has reportedly found a home in the NFL after going undrafted this weekend.

Pavia accepted an invitation to the Baltimore Ravens’ rookie minicamp on a tryout basis, per multiple reports. He doesn’t have a spot on the roster yet, but it’s a start as he looks to crack into the NFL with Baltimore.

Of course, Lamar Jackson, the two-time MVP quarterback, is cemented as the team’s starting quarterback, but perhaps Pavia can stand out enough in rookie minicamp to earn an invitation to training camp this summer.

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Pavia was not expecting to be undrafted this weekend, but he became the first Heisman Trophy finalist since 2014 to not hear his name called through the seven rounds in Pittsburgh.

Pavia won the SEC Offensive Player of the Year and the Johnny Unitas Golden Arm award for best upperclassman quarterback after throwing for 3,539 passing yards and 29 touchdowns, both of which single-season school records, to give the Commodores its first-ever 10-win season.

Vanderbilt just missed out on the College Football Playoff after finishing 10-3.

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Pavia ultimately finished second in Heisman voting to Indiana quarterback Fernando Mendoza – the No. 1 overall pick in this year’s draft by the Las Vegas Raiders. So, what ultimately led to Pavia not getting drafted?

While his personality may have factored in, Pavia’s official height at the NFL Scouting Combine turned some heads. Vanderbilt had him listed at 6-foot, but he was measured at 5-foot-9 7/8, which would make him the shortest quarterback in the NFL if he were to step foot on the gridiron today. The average height is 6-foot-2 for an NFL quarterback.

However, those shorter than the average have seen success, including Minnesota Vikings newest member, Kyler Murray, who went first overall to the Arizona Cardinals in 2019 coming out of Oklahoma. He’s listed at 5-foot-10.

Pavia barked back at critics during the Senior Bowl in January regarding his height.

“Yeah, my size has been doubted my whole life,” he said at the time, via AL.com. “I feel like the only thing the NFL cares about is can you win, and I view myself as a winner. I’ve been fortunate with all these great teams that I’ve had — we’ve never had a losing season. So that’s something to look forward to, I hope, for the rest of my career, that’s how it’s going to be.

“I feel like God has blessed me in so many ways to be a connector, and I feel like that’s one of my superpowers that I’ve got — I can connect. We unite, and then once you unite, you want to play for one another, and once you give 120% effort, there’s no one that can stop your team.”

Pavia’s personality, viewed by some as more cocky than confident, may have played a factor as well. After finishing runner-up to Mendoza in Heisman voting, Pavia was spotted at a New York City nightclub next to a sign that read, “F— Indiana.” Then, he posted on social media a photo with friends and a caption that read, “F— ALL THE VOTERS, BUT…FAMILY FOR LIFE.”

Pavia later apologized for his decision to post that on his socials.

No matter the case, Pavia has a shot now with the Ravens and new head coach Jesse Minter, as he aims to show enough to join the quarterbacks group in training camp. Other than Jackson, the Ravens have Tyler “Snoop” Huntley on the roster to start the season.    

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