I’ve had no intention of piling on Kristi Noem.

She did a terrible job, especially with ICE and FEMA, seemed obsessed with promoting herself–whether at a Salvadoran prison or on horseback at Mount Rushmore–and President Trump fired her. He probably waited too long, but he did oust her as secretary of Homeland Security. End of story.

Until now.

300-PLUS ANGEL FAMILIES JUMP INTO MARKWAYNE MULLIN’S DHS NOMINATION FIGHT IN UNEQUIVOCAL TERMS

I know this reeks of gossipy tabloidism, but it directly involves the ex-secretary and, what makes it dead serious, it raises the prospect of blackmail. And it follows the romantic rumors that she has dismissed.

The Daily Mail, which has amassed a ton of evidence, reports on the “secret life,” to use that headline-grabbing cliche, of her husband, Bryon Noem.

There are several photos of Bryon Noem, sporting pink hotpants and enormous fake breasts. 

Mail reporters interviewed several “fetish” models who claim to have had an online relationship with Noem, tied to women fantasizing about becoming Barbie dolls with gigantic curves (far eclipsing the actual skinny dolls). It’s called “bimbofication.”

The piece says Mr. Noem is said to have paid these women thousands of dollars for their services, sometimes making salacious requests. I’ll spare you the unsettling  details.

Kristi’s reps told the New York Post: “Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.”

The president told the Daily Mail he was surprised to hear the Noem family confirmed the shocking report into his lewd online behavior.

“They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if that’s the case, that’s too bad,” Trump said in a phone call.

But here’s the key part. Noem, says the Mail, made little attempt to conceal the extracurricular activities, giving women her husband’s phone number with a voicemail message that identified his business.

The main concern, and the reason this is newsworthy, is that Kristi could have been subjected to blackmail. 

NOEM THANKS TRUMP FOR NEW SHIELD OF THE AMERICAS SPECIAL ENVOY ROLE AFTER DHS OUSTER

Former CIA officer Marc Polymeropoulos told the paper, “If a media organization can find this out, you can assume with a high degree of confidence that a hostile intelligence service knows this as well.”

An editor at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze said, “The entire GOP is full of degenerates, at this point probably more than Dems. And in this case, all of this was known long before she was appointed. It was an insane appointment.”

All right, I think we’ve all had enough of that.

Let’s turn to the new DHS secretary, former senator Markwayne Mullin.

As the New York Times reports, “Mullin has worked toward a less flashy debut: briefing members of Congress on the effects of the government shutdown, attending White House meetings and doing a video talking up the people he now oversees. ‘I think I have the greatest employees working at DHS. ever — I mean that sincerely,’” he said in a video.

Mullin still has to manage a mass deportation program that has plummeted in public approval–especially after the killing of two American citizens in Minneapolis. And he largely agrees with Trump’s hardline views.

FIRED DHS CHIEF KRISTI NOEM FACES CRIMINAL REFERRAL FROM CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS

At his confirmation hearing, Mullin said: “My goal in six months is that we’re not in the lead story every single day. “My goal is for people to understand we’re out there, we’re protecting them and we’re working with them.”

It will be a difficult balancing act – especially since, for the moment, DHS funding is frozen – except for TSA workers, by presidential decree – as the two parties can’t agree on a way to resolve the partial government shutdown.

What’s clear is that the Kristi Noem era is over, with a new boss who wants to avoid headlines rather than seek them out.

Footnote: Jimmy Kimmel is taking heat for making disparaging remarks about Markwayne Mullin.

“Let me make this very clear, I’m not upset that the head of Homeland Security used to be a plumber. I’m upset that he isn’t still a plumber,” Kimmel said. “That’s right. We have a plumber protecting us from terrorism now. It worked for Super Mario. Why not Markwayne?”

This was widely criticized as denigrating the working class.

“Secretary Mullin represents the best of blue-collar America, and failed comedian Jimmy Kimmel chooses to ridicule him for it,” a DHS spokesperson told Fox. 

What’s more, Mullin took over the debt-ridden family company and expanded it into a major regional operation, including real estate and environmental services. 

Kimmel doubled down, despite the criticism. “I wouldn’t put a plumber in charge of Homeland Security for the same reason I wouldn’t call a five-star general to pull a rat out of my toilet. OK? We all have our areas of expertise.”

Jimmy just has a tin ear on this one.

Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey, a Republican, was hospitalized on Tuesday after undergoing a minor procedure to remove fluid that was pressing against her lung, according to her office.

Ivey, 81, will be monitored at Baptist Medical Center South in Montgomery in the coming days out of an abundance of caution, a spokesperson for the governor said in a statement.

The fluid was discovered on Tuesday when the governor went to her doctor because she was feeling discomfort in her left side and recently experienced some shortness of breath.

“For the last three weeks, Governor Kay Ivey has experienced some discomfort in her left side,” the statement said. “After monitoring the pain and recently feeling slightly short-of-breath, she made the decision to be seen again by her primary care physician earlier today.”

MCCONNELL RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL AFTER HEALTH SCARE, TO WORK FROM HOME AS KEY DHS VOTE LOOMS

While Ivey’s medical issue wasn’t urgent, but she wanted it taken care of quickly so she could recover before the legislative session ends.

“While it was not emergent, Governor Ivey wanted to get the procedure done as soon as possible so she can quickly get back to 100% to wrap up the 2026 Regular Session,” the statement said.

Ivey’s office did not specify how long she would be in the hospital.

“We are in touch with Governor Ivey, and she says she is determined to make a very speedy and full recovery,” her spokesperson said.

WH CHIEF OF STAFF SUSIE WILES DIAGNOSED WITH EARLY STAGE BREAST CANCER, PROGNOSIS ‘EXCELLENT,’ TRUMP SAYS

Officials in Alabama and other states offered support for Ivey as she recovers from the procedure.

Alabama Attorney General Steve Marshall, a Republican, said he was thankful Ivey was “receiving excellent care from some of the finest medical professionals. She is in good hands, and I join so many Alabamians in praying for her swift and full recovery.”

Georgia GOP Gov. Brian Kemp said he and his family were praying for Ivey and wished her a speedy recovery.

“She has always been a fighter and we know she’ll fight through this too,” Kemp wrote.

The Alabama governor announced in 2019 that she was undergoing radiation for lung cancer, describing it as a small localized spot. Her office said the following year that scans indicated the treatment was successful, and she was free of disease.

Ivey is term-limited and cannot run for re-election this year.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio said Tuesday the U.S. is nearing the “finish line” in its conflict with Iran, while warning that Tehran was seeking to become the next North Korea.

Rubio told “Hannity” Tuesday that Iran was pursuing intercontinental missiles capable of striking the United States and would have achieved those objectives if President Donald Trump had not launched Operation Epic Fury.

“They were aiming to become the next North Korea, except not a North Korea run by a regime that is troublesome and hard to understand, but an Iran run by radical Shia clerics with intercontinental missiles that could reach the mainland of the United States eventually,” the Secretary of State said.

“That’s what they would have ultimately achieved… had President Trump not taken these steps that he’s taken.”

CRUZ SAYS TRUMP’S MOVE TO STRIKE IRAN ‘MOST CONSEQUENTIAL DECISION’ OF HIS PRESIDENCY

Rubio accused Iran’s regime of misleading the public about its ballistic missile capabilities, saying officials “denied” their missiles could reach as far as London.

“[Abbas] Araghchi, their foreign minister, this guy is a liar,” he told Fox News host Sean Hannity. “This guy was on television like a week ago – two weeks ago – denying that Iran had any missiles that could go beyond a certain limitation.“

Trump has recently said the Iran conflict could last only a few more weeks, as Operation Epic Fury nears 33 days, with Rubio echoing that the end is near.

DEFIANT IRAN VOWS TO FIGHT ‘UNTIL COMPLETE VICTORY,’ DESPITE HEAVY MILITARY LOSSES

“We can see the finish line. It’s not today, it’s not tomorrow, but it is coming,” Rubio said.

Rubio has signaled progress in talks with Iran, noting that while Tehran remains publicly defiant, its officials are being more cooperative in private discussions.

But he said President Trump will not be “strung” along like the Biden administration.

TRUMP SAYS MOST NATO COUNTRIES HAVE INDICATED THEY DO NOT WANT TO INVOLVE THEMSELVES IN IRAN CONFLICT

“What President Trump is not going to allow is he’s not going to allow fake negotiations to be used as a delay tactic, to buy more time, to buy themselves space,” Rubio explained.

Iranian leadership remains fluid, according to reports, as Pakistan announced Sunday that it will host talks between the United States and Iran.

Rubio warned that if a deal is not reached, the United States will not stop its military campaign.

TRUMP’S IRAN STRATEGY IS WORKING AND TEACHING OUR FOES WHAT DETERRENCE MEANS

“We’re not going to allow… the failure of talks to impede our ability to defend this country and to protect this country from a real threat,” he declared.

Rubio argued the Iranian regime is made up of people with destructive tendencies.

“This is a regime led by people who believe that it is their calling and their purpose in life is to usher in the end of the world,” he told Fox News. “These people want nuclear weapons.“

He also warned that the United States may reconsider its role in NATO once the U.S.-Iran conflict ends, as the war raised questions about the alliance’s value.

“We are going to reexamine whether or not this alliance, that has served this country well for a while, is still serving that purpose or has it now become a one-way street, where America is simply in a position to defend Europe. But when we need the help of our allies, they’re going to deny us basing rights,” he told Fox News.

President Trump will address the nation Wednesday at 9 p.m. ET to discuss the state of the U.S.-Iran conflict.