Welcome to the latest edition of True Romance. It’s also the final day of April, which means summer is right around the corner, and I’m sure we’ll be hit with some claims about what’s hot in the streets.

Remember the “summer of threesomes?” That was alleged to have taken place back in 2024. I must admit that I missed out. Perhaps I misinterpreted what that meant. I’ve been known to do that.

I wasn’t sure if they were falling out of the skies that summer or showing up at your door unannounced. In any event, I didn’t see it. I guess you have to seek that sort of thing out. Who knew?

That’s a problem for another day. Let’s enjoy the rest of the spring as much as Anthony Kiedis’s girlfriend Eileen Kelly enjoys the 33-year age gap with the Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman.

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So he’s more than twice her age, she’s not here for any “unsolicited commentary in public.” She’s happy to be with a man who has it all together.

That and his old ass isn’t going anywhere. She said of the relationship, according to the Daily Mail, “not like he’s biding his time before he can swipe for someone better. He is fully aware that he’s one lucky bastard.”

That’s love. He’s rich. He’s famous. And he’s a 63-year-old lucky bastard dating a 30-year-old. Why get into music if you can’t have such a relationship in your 60s? I don’t have an answer for that.

Last week, I rooted for a swinger couple that was going through hard times. This week I’m hopeful that a couple’s use of a month-long hall pass can save their marriage.

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I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a marriage-saving hall pass. Is there such a thing? Can a marriage on the rocks be saved by it?

This is the result of a wife who turned an addiction into a reality that led to her having a one-night stand with a man she met at the bar.

Her husband briefly tried to make it work but ended up leaving her, although not entirely. They lived separately and were working towards a divorce while still jumping into bed together.

The couple talked again recently, she writes on Reddit, about the possibilities of making their relationship work and came up with an agreed-upon arrangement in hopes of saving their marriage.

“I’ll agree on a one-sided open relationship as long as it only lasts for a finite duration, so for the time being we have agreed on one month. There is no bar on who he can sleep with, or how often, and specifically we have agreed on zero boundaries…,” she explained.

“We also explicitly agreed that this agreement does extend to sex workers and previous romantic partners as well.”

They won’t be sleeping with each other during this month-long hall pass. This is “a final desperate act of self-sacrifice” because she doesn’t see any other way.

You know, in a way, they’ve already repaired the marriage a little. Here they are talking it out before one of them jumps into bed with others. Take the wins, no matter how small. Am I right?

Of course, this is almost guaranteed to end in disaster. But let’s not rain on this hall pass parade without a single use. Who knows? These two might just surprise us.

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A woman in her 50s is considering taking drastic measures after her husband of 30 years started an affair with a younger woman.

Six months ago, he started working late and going to the gym. He had a sudden interest in taking care of his appearance, his wife explained.

He bought himself new clothes and grew a short beard, which she admits looks nice on him. She jokingly asked who he was hiding his double chin for.

He then rocked her world with his reply. He told her that he had met someone else, a younger version of her, according to a friend of hers who happened to see them out together.

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To make matters worse, he thinks he loves her. She’s not prepared to see 30 years get washed away by some other woman.

“He has moved into the spare bedroom, and now we barely speak. I still cook his meals and do all his washing, mechanically doing the things I’ve always done,” she said.

“The situation is unbearable but I can’t bring myself to kick him out, because then our marriage really would be over. I keep thinking that if I can just put up with it for a while, he’ll come to his senses and end the affair.”

Now she’s contemplating having a boob job and facelift to keep her husband faithful. Is that going to do the trick? Never say never, but there aren’t any guarantees that he’ll be faithful if he does come back.

That doesn’t mean a boob job is out of the question. Get some opinions. Discuss it with a doctor and hit the dating scene looking for fun.

Cheating is at the top of the list of offenses guaranteed to end a relationship for a lot of people. Not the people in this week’s column, and not those weighing in on this question on Reddit.

Exposing a partner’s deepest vulnerabilities and eating cereal with water instead of milk made the list of worse than cheating for some.

What do you think? Is there anything that tops cheating? Do you agree with any of these as relationship ending?

– Heath writes:

I am disgusted by your article you just posted about the swingers. I have been married almost 29 years. If your advice doesn’t include putting God center of people’s relationships, then you shouldn’t give any advice. You say you are rooting for the swingers relationship and you seem to be completely OK with their having different partners. I love my wife more now than ever before. God meant for people to marry for life. One man and one woman. I believe Jesus is returning soon. Maybe shine a light towards Him in your advice.

God bless, 

Heath 

– Anonymous writes:

Swinging is a lifestyle built on trust. I know because I’ve been there, done that.

My wife at the time (divorced for other reasons) had no issues with the lifestyle and as far as I knew she never played around otherwise, because this was built on absolute trust.

We were members of a swing club and we partied together once every month, and it was ALWAYS TOGETHER. Never apart from each other because we loved watching each other. It was always in the same room.

In the case you talked about, this was total betrayal. It wasn’t together and it was very secretive, and she got busted, and is what can happen. It doesn’t happen often, but it still happens and it is a betrayal.

It’s not being hypocritical either. Signing up for this lifestyle is certainly not for everyone, and the only real risk is what happened here.

Couples have one of the best assurances. Everybody is clean and the risks are extremely low. Nobody has or wants to catch anything, but occasionally you’ll find a couple the insists on protection. Rare, but if you want to party with that couple you have to accept it.

I could go on on on here, but you have the big picture here, and if you want to know anything else just feel free to get a hold of me 👍

SeanJo

You can’t win them all. At least I’m batting .500 with the readers and I hope most get it.

Anonymous, I will definitely be reaching out on the chance that you have some stories of True Romance to share, either personal or about someone you know.

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That’s it for this week. We’ll do it again next week. As always, feel free to reach out, anonymously if you prefer, at [email protected]. Also, go follow along on Twitter and on Facebook. The DMs are always open.