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Axe-slingin’ Sophie Lloyd melts faces, Starbucks isn’t about coffee apparently, and the great ‘back-in’ debate

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Congratulations, we’ve crossed the imaginary start-finish line into May, which means you have probably seen that Justin Timberlake/NSYNC meme several dozen times before you wandered your way into this edition of Nightcaps!

What a month May is, huh? The Stanley Cup Playoffs are in full swing, the NBA playoffs are also occurring (but less fun to watch), and the Kentucky Derby is coming along. Then we close out the month with the best day on the motorsports calendar when the Indianapolis 500 and Coca-Cola 600 take place (and the F1 Canadian Grand Prix, can’t forget that).

It’s also when people start using some vacation time, and that’s why I’m pinch-hitting for Zach and Amber on this glorious late spring Friday… before I also take some time off next week.

The wife and I are headed to a resort for a couple of days for what those of us in Central Florida call a “staycation.”

It’s like a vacation, but I only have to drive 20 minutes from home.

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Which some would argue defeats the purpose, but I think that’s what makes it great.

LPGA STAR NELLY KORDA SIZZLES ON THE BEACH, DEMS WON’T STOP DANCING & GIA DUDDY WHIPS UP A BIKINI LUNCH

If you forget something you need, you don’t need to pay top dollar in the gift shop, because you can just drive home and get it.

No need to deal with airports or even major highways, either.

But before I post up in a cabana next to a crystalline blue pool, we’ve got some stuff to talk about, so let’s get to it so I can zinc my sniffer (sun safety first) and throw on a pair of swim trunks…

Sophie Lloyd melts your face

How about some tunes to set the mood for this Friday’s edition?

For that, we’re going to turn our attention to Sophie Lloyd, one of the internet’s favorite guitarists who typically plays with Machine Gun Kelly.

But she’s not a one-trick pony who does… whatever it is that Machine Gun Kelly does. She has some serious classical chops, too.

Sure, it’s about a month old, but the algorithm gods dropped it in my feed today, so now you’re seeing it, and I doubt there will be much resistance, if any.

OLIVIA DUNNE WASHES CARS IN HER “BAYWATCH” SWIMSUIT, NICK SABAN LIKES A “WIDE A–” & ESPN RUINS SOMETHING ELSE

I dig it.

If you need more, go check out her performance at the Rugby World Cup.

You know what, I’ll save you the time.

Here you go, pal:

Is this the greatest cigarette smoker of all time?

Now, we all know smoking is bad for your health, blah, blah, blah, but so is a lot of stuff.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, sit back and watch the greatest cigarette smoker of all time as he blind taste tests five cigarettes and nails it.

I’m not going to lie, I found this nothing short of incredible.

First of all, that man has clearly smoked more than Joe Camel in his career, which means I’m shocked he still has taste buds remaining. I thought they would’ve gotten singed off back when Bush 41 was in office.

SYDNEY SWEENEY AND LIVVY DUNNE FORM ALLIANCE AS LINGERIE WAR WITH VICTORIA’S SECRET OFFICIALLY HEATS UP

But not only are his taste buds still there, but they’re refined enough to pick out the nuances of every lung dart. I wouldn’t be surprised if he could tell you where the tobacco came from.

Although I’m confident that even those of us whose smoking careers consisted of choking down a Pall Mall in high school thanks to peer pressure could pick a menthol out of that bunch.

He went the extra mile and nailed the brand

God bless that smooth Carolina tobacco sommelier and his black lungs.

It has been a rough week for Six Flags

I like hitting up theme parks in my free time, but I’ve never been to a Six Flags, and I hate to say it, the week they’ve had hasn’t made me want to change that.

Let’s start at Six Flags New England, where they had a bit of a problem with the Superman roller coaster in the worst possible place for anyone who’s not fond of heights (*raises hand*).

Well, surely they couldn’t have two high-profile ride malfunctions in one week that left riders stranded high in the air, could they?

Could they?!

Those folks at Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio were only dangling 200 feet above terra firma for ten minutes, but for this hombre, that’s ten minutes too many.

The great backup debate

Now, if you’re a regular OutKick reader, you may know (or not) that I do a weekly column called The Gripe Report, that some — mostly friends, family and well-wishers — call the greatest complaint-based column the Internet has ever seen.

Their words, not mine.

But this week, I hit on something shockingly controversial: backing into parking spots.

A reader named Tom wrote in to complain about people who insist on backing into parking spots even if there is a train of cars behind them, or end up having to sit there and wait while they finish their perfect parking masterpiece.

I actually agreed with that take — have some consideration for the very handsome writer who is just running to Publix to pick up the paper towels he forgot to buy despite his wife asking him several times — but, boy, were the backer-inners ever out in full force.

Rob (whose email was very long and in-depth) had this to say:

Tom’s gripe gets no sympathy from me.

I got my license in ’75, when most American cars were 20 feet long and 7 feet wide. It was taught in driving school and tested for when taking the road test (in Ontario). My road test was in our ’73 Chev Bel Air wagon (the behemoth with the wrap-around rear windows) — we nicknamed it BattleCar Galactica. I had to back into a spot (no camera) and parallel park (among other things) to pass.

…

Chris says:

My BIL drives a company pickup as his daily, and his company’s policy is that they always have to back into a spot because the risk of running over someone is greater when you’re backing out of a spot. Given how dangerous and clueless the average Costco parking lot driver is, I’m not sure it’s the worst thing. 

Besides, parking in the “close” lot is a sucker move anyway. I pull all the way past the entrance, taking care not to run over any of the clueless shoppers pushing a cart while looking at their phones (who frankly deserve it, but that’s another gripe) and park on the far side. It takes a minute or two more to get in the door, but given that Costco’s mission is to slow me down, it’s small change. Then I can leave in peace out the far exit and avoid the Brodozers and Momspeditions blocking the main exit.

…

Then came Mark, just going straight for the jugular:

The remarks below were one of the comments at the bottom of Tom’s whining.  Tell Tom to get back in his Prius and go search out a pull-through parking spot so he doesn’t spill his latte.

Anyone driving a full-size truck with a crew cab knows why we back in. It is so we can get out after cars fill in the space around us. 

So you can wait a moment while we pull in, or wait much longer when we have to go back and forth trying to get out. Don’t like it- see your Dr and get the medication you need.

…

Good times over in Gripe Report country!

Kenny Albert is a hoarder in the best way possible

Kenny Albert is in a league of his own these days as the only announcer who pretty regularly calls all four major North American sports.

Of course, nationally, he’s best known as the lead play-by-play man for TNT’s NHL coverage and does NFL games for Fox.

But it turns out he’s also, in his words, “an organized hoarder,” and showed off some of his old game sheets to Florida Panthers star Matthew Tkachuk on his Wingmen podcast.

He even had one from April 1996 in which Keith Tkachuk scored in the final playoff series in Winnipeg before they moved off to the desert.

This makes me think we need to change the definition of hoarder. The new criteria is if what you hoard is something cool, like these game sheets, you’re not a hoarder.

If you keep awesome career memorabilia or a ton of vintage guitars or cars, that’s not hoarding, that just makes you cool.

But if you’re collecting jars of your own excrement that are buried under a pile of old newspapers, laundry and dead cats, then call the dumpster company; we have a hoarder!

Starbucks CEO says it’s not about $9 coffee, it’s about the experience

You’d think that after the McDonald’s CEO got shoved in a locker repeatedly for eating a burger, as he had only read about how to do it in a book, the head honchos of various chains would lay low or maybe think before they speak.

The Starbucks CEO did not do that.

It’s not that the coffee giant your wife loves is charging you $9 for a cup of coffee, but that you’re paying for the Starbucks experience.

He noted that it is a splurge, but a very reasonably priced “premium experience.”

Wait…

Paying to drink an okay-at-best coffee, watch some douche write his screenplay and listen to someone else take a Zoom meeting without headphones?

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!

I don’t get it. I’ve never gone to Starbucks for the experience; I went because I had to.

It was only ever because I had to pee, I had to get coffee to keep me from falling asleep, or the internet at my house went out, so I had to go mooch off of the Starbucks.

I’ve always called Starbucks the “bank of coffee,” and I think they should reposition themselves as that.

I go to Starbucks if I want coffee because they’re usually open. It’s more of a utility in my mind than anything. It’s like if my Keurig were a building with a little pink-haired barista inside (thank God, that isn’t the case for real though).

So, Starbucks, listen to me: you’re not a premium experience. You’re the coffee bank.

…

That’s it for this Friday edition of Nightcaps!

Have a great weekend!

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JUST IN: ‘Squad’ Congressional Candidate Arrested

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JUST IN: ‘Squad’ Congressional Candidate Arrested

A Democratic congressional nominee who defeated a sitting member of Congress earlier this year was arrested Thursday during a major protest against Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu outside the United Nations in New York City.

Darializa Avila Chevalier, the Democratic nominee for New York’s heavily Democratic 13th Congressional District, was taken into custody as demonstrators gathered near U.N. headquarters ahead of Netanyahu’s address to the General Assembly.

Avila Chevalier defeated five-term Rep. Adriano Espaillat in June’s Democratic primary after campaigning as a critic of U.S. support for Israel and receiving the backing of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani.

Now, just months after that upset victory, she was among the politicians, activists and entertainers arrested during Thursday’s demonstration.

The protest, organized by Jewish Voice for Peace, drew roughly 250 people to First Avenue and East 39th Street, just blocks from U.N. headquarters.

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Demonstrators sat in the roadway while protesting Netanyahu’s appearance and U.S. support for Israel’s military operations in Gaza.

Police arrested protesters who blocked the road and refused orders to move.

Avila Chevalier defended her decision to participate and sharply condemned Netanyahu.

“As the Democratic Nominee for New York’s 13th Congressional District, I refuse to allow a war criminal to roam the streets of our city unchallenged,” she said.

“I refuse to play host to a man who has overseen the slaughter or injury of more than 64,000 children in Gaza with American taxpayer dollars.”

The description of Netanyahu as a “war criminal” reflects Avila Chevalier’s position. Netanyahu and the Israeli government have rejected accusations that Israel’s military campaign constitutes genocide and have maintained that Israel is targeting Hamas while seeking to minimize civilian casualties.

The International Criminal Court has issued an arrest warrant for Netanyahu alleging war crimes and crimes against humanity. Netanyahu and Israel reject the allegations and dispute the court’s jurisdiction.

Avila Chevalier’s arrest comes after a Democratic primary campaign in which U.S. policy toward Israel emerged as a significant dividing line between her and Espaillat.

She has advocated ending U.S. military support for Israel and has aligned herself with the Democratic Party’s democratic-socialist and pro-Palestinian wing.

Espaillat’s support for Israel became one of the issues Avila Chevalier used to challenge the longtime incumbent.

She ultimately defeated him in the June Democratic primary, securing the nomination in a district covering parts of northern Manhattan and the Bronx.

Thursday’s demonstration showed that she has no intention of softening her position after winning the nomination.

As police led her away, Avila Chevalier told reporters:

“We’re standing against war. Stop the genocide. U.S. dollars for health care, for housing, for education. Not for bombing children.”

She was not the only New York political figure taken into custody.

New York City Council Member Chi Ossé was also arrested during the demonstration.

Ossé similarly condemned U.S. financial support for Israel.

“I’m sick and tired of my taxpayer dollars going towards an active genocide,” Ossé said.

Council Member Alexa Avilés was also among those arrested.

The protest attracted a number of prominent activists and entertainers as well.

Actor Hannah Einbinder and whistleblower Chelsea Manning were among those taken into custody, while other reports identified actor Susan Sarandon among those arrested.

The NYPD said more than 100 people were arrested during the protests surrounding Netanyahu’s appearance.

The demonstration unfolded as Netanyahu addressed the United Nations amid intense international criticism of Israel’s military campaign in Gaza.

Netanyahu used his appearance to defend Israel’s conduct and push back against allegations surrounding the war.

The Israeli government maintains that its military campaign is directed against Hamas and points to the Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas attack on Israel, in which about 1,200 people were killed and 251 were taken hostage, as the catalyst for the war.

Palestinian health officials say more than 73,000 people have been killed in Gaza during the ensuing Israeli military campaign. Those figures do not distinguish in their topline count between civilians and combatants.

The political fight over the war has increasingly spilled into Democratic electoral politics in the United States.

Avila Chevalier’s primary victory over Espaillat was one of several 2026 races in which candidates critical of U.S. support for Israel defeated established Democratic politicians.

Her victory also positioned her to potentially become another democratic-socialist voice in Congress if elected in November.

Thursday’s arrest underscored how central the issue remains to her political identity.

Avila Chevalier did not merely issue a statement condemning Netanyahu’s appearance.

She joined demonstrators in the street outside the United Nations and was taken into police custody alongside other protesters.

For a congressional nominee only months away from the general election, it was an unusually visible act of protest.

And it offered voters a clear look at the kind of politics Avila Chevalier intends to bring to Washington if she wins the seat in November.

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Jeanine Pirro Makes Massive Announcement – WH In Total Shock

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Jeanine Pirro Makes Massive Announcement – WH In Total Shock

U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro is launching a new federal division in Washington dedicated to pursuing fraud against the government and recovering taxpayer money.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia announced Wednesday the creation of its new Fraud and Asset Recovery Division, a specialized unit that will bring prosecutors, investigators, auditors and support personnel together to pursue civil fraud cases.

The new division will put a particular emphasis on the False Claims Act, one of the federal government’s most powerful tools for recovering money lost through fraud.

Pirro tied the sweeping reorganization directly to the Trump administration’s campaign against fraud, waste and abuse throughout the federal government.

“President Trump has prioritized the elimination of fraud, waste, and abuse involving federal agencies and programs,” Pirro said.

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“This new Fraud and Asset Recovery Division will reinforce and consolidate our resources to hold fraudsters accountable and recover taxpayer dollars.”

Pirro then delivered an unmistakable warning to anyone attempting to defraud the government.

“We are sending a clear message: those who cheat the federal government will face decisive, coordinated action,” Pirro said.

The new division represents a significant restructuring inside one of the country’s most consequential U.S. Attorney’s Offices.

Pirro’s office is expanding and realigning resources from its existing Affirmative Civil Enforcement unit, which had operated within the Civil Division.

Officials said the change is intended to separate proactive civil enforcement work from much of the Civil Division’s massive defensive caseload.

That workload, according to the Justice Department, had limited the personnel and resources available to launch affirmative investigations and pursue fraud litigation.

The new structure is designed to change that.

Rather than forcing fraud investigations to compete with defensive civil litigation for resources, prosecutors and investigators will now have a dedicated division focused on finding fraud, pursuing cases and recovering federal money.

Assistant U.S. attorneys will work alongside investigators, auditors and support staff inside the new operation.

Dan Schiffer will serve as chief of the Fraud and Asset Recovery Division, while Sean M. Tepe will serve as deputy chief.

One of their primary weapons will be the False Claims Act.

Originally enacted in 1863 amid widespread fraud involving Civil War government contractors, the law allows the federal government to pursue individuals and companies that knowingly submit false claims for government money.

Those found liable can face triple the government’s damages along with additional civil penalties.

The law also contains powerful whistleblower provisions allowing private individuals to bring lawsuits on behalf of the federal government and potentially receive a portion of money successfully recovered.

And the amount of money involved is enormous.

False Claims Act settlements and judgments exceeded $6.8 billion during fiscal year 2025 — the highest single-year total in the law’s history.

Whistleblowers filed a record 1,297 qui tam lawsuits during the same year, while the federal government opened 401 new investigations.

Since Congress substantially strengthened the False Claims Act in 1986, settlements and judgments have surpassed $85 billion.

Pirro’s office already has experience pursuing major civil fraud cases.

According to the Justice Department, previous cases handled by the Washington office have involved allegations against government contractors accused of improperly billing commercial and international costs to federal contracts, software manufacturers accused of false disclosures and intentional overbilling, medical-device companies accused of misbranding and off-label marketing, and pharmaceutical manufacturers accused of violating federal medication regulations.

The new division will go beyond False Claims Act cases.

Its responsibilities will also include civil collections for federal agencies, enforcement of agency and inspector-general subpoenas and civil asset forfeiture actions.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office Financial Litigation Unit is also being folded into the Fraud and Asset Recovery Division.

That unit is responsible for collecting money already owed to the federal government, including criminal fines, special assessments, restitution, civil judgments and settlements.

It also handles certain debts owed to federal agencies, including student-loan debts owed to the Department of Education.

The result is a division with responsibilities on both sides of the government’s financial enforcement system: investigating suspected fraud and pursuing money already determined to be owed.

The restructuring comes as the Justice Department intensifies federal fraud enforcement nationwide.

But Pirro’s Fraud and Asset Recovery Division is specifically housed inside the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia, placing a dedicated civil fraud operation in the nation’s capital and at the center of the federal government.

The announcement itself does not accuse any newly identified company, contractor, nonprofit or individual of wrongdoing, and the Justice Department has not announced the division’s initial investigative targets.

Officials also have not publicly specified the division’s total staffing level or additional budget.

What the Justice Department has made clear is its objective.

Pirro is consolidating prosecutors, investigators, auditors and financial-enforcement personnel into a single operation charged with aggressively pursuing fraud against federal programs and recovering money for taxpayers.

The numbers illustrate the potential stakes.

More than $6.8 billion was recovered through False Claims Act settlements and judgments in fiscal 2025 alone.

More than $85 billion has been recovered since the law was strengthened in 1986.

And now Pirro’s Washington office is establishing an entire division dedicated to expanding that work.

For individuals and companies doing business with the federal government, Pirro’s message was direct:

Those who cheat the government should expect a coordinated response.

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Senate Vote 50-49 On Save America Act — Dems Stunned!

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Senate Vote 50-49 On Save America Act — Dems Stunned!

The SAVE America Act secured 50 votes in the U.S. Senate during a dramatic late-night showdown, giving supporters of the Republican-backed election legislation a significant boost even as a procedural hurdle prevented the measure from advancing.

The 50-49 vote came during the Senate’s marathon June 4-5 “vote-a-rama,” when Sen. Mike Lee of Utah brought forward the voting provisions of the House-passed legislation.

At the center of the proposal are two major changes to federal election law: requiring documentary proof of U.S. citizenship to register to vote in federal elections and requiring eligible photo identification when casting a ballot.

The proposal also includes provisions directing states to verify voter rolls and remove noncitizens who are found to be improperly registered.

Lee’s amendment drew 50 votes in support and 49 against.

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But that was not enough.

Because the amendment faced a budget point of order under the Senate’s reconciliation rules, Lee needed 60 votes to waive the objection.

His motion fell 10 votes short.

The result meant the proposal could not be added to the broader reconciliation package despite attracting 50 Senate votes.

The late-night tally nevertheless marked an improvement for supporters following an earlier attempt by Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina.

Graham’s broader amendment failed 48-50 after four Republicans — Susan Collins of Maine, Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Mitch McConnell of Kentucky and Thom Tillis of North Carolina — joined Democrats in opposing the effort.

Lee then brought forward a narrower version focused on the SAVE America Act’s voting provisions.

This time, Collins voted in support.

Murkowski, McConnell and Tillis remained opposed.

The result: 50-49.

That distinction quickly became a major talking point for supporters of the legislation.

They had demonstrated that 50 sitting senators were prepared to vote for the proposal, but Senate procedural rules still stood between those votes and adoption of the amendment.

Vice President JD Vance has the constitutional authority to break a 50-50 Senate tie when one occurs. But the vote before senators Thursday night required 60 votes to waive the budgetary objection, meaning a vice-presidential tiebreaker could not overcome that particular hurdle.

The fight is therefore far from over.

The SAVE America Act has become one of the Republican Party’s major election-policy priorities heading toward the 2026 midterms.

Supporters argue that requiring documentary proof of citizenship would strengthen enforcement of the existing prohibition against noncitizen voting in federal elections and increase confidence that voter rolls contain only eligible voters.

Opponents see the legislation very differently.

Federal law already prohibits noncitizens from voting in federal elections, and critics argue that requiring additional citizenship documentation could make registration more difficult for some eligible American citizens who do not readily possess the required documents.

Those competing arguments have fueled an increasingly intense battle over the legislation.

The House previously approved the SAVE America Act, while President Donald Trump, Vice President Vance and Republican lawmakers have pushed for its enactment.

But the Senate has been the major obstacle.

The chamber voted earlier this year to begin consideration of the legislation, yet supporters have not demonstrated the 60 votes generally needed to overcome a filibuster and bring contested legislation to a final vote.

Republicans subsequently attempted to use the reconciliation process to advance the election provisions alongside a massive immigration and border-security package.

That strategy created a different obstacle.

Senate reconciliation rules restrict the types of provisions that can be included in budget legislation, allowing senators to raise points of order against provisions considered outside those limits.

Overcoming such an objection requires 60 votes.

That is precisely where Lee’s amendment failed.

The underlying proposal attracted 50 votes.

The motion needed 60.

The outcome immediately renewed Republican debate over Senate procedure and the future of the legislation.

Lee has argued that the 50-vote showing demonstrates that the original House-passed proposal has simple-majority support in the Senate, even though supporters remain short of the votes necessary to overcome the chamber’s procedural barriers.

The dispute also places renewed attention on the filibuster.

Republican leaders have repeatedly acknowledged that the 60-vote threshold remains a central obstacle to moving the SAVE America Act through the Senate under ordinary procedures.

But eliminating the legislative filibuster would itself require sufficient support among Republican senators, and GOP leaders have not demonstrated that those votes exist.

That leaves supporters searching for another path.

For now, the SAVE America Act remains stalled.

But the late-night vote established an important piece of the Senate math surrounding the legislation.

An earlier attempt attracted only 48 votes.

Lee’s narrower proposal attracted 50.

That still wasn’t enough to clear the 60-vote procedural threshold.

But it demonstrated that 50 senators were willing to back the voting provisions when they were put before the chamber — a result supporters are certain to point to as they continue pushing for another vote.

The immediate effort failed.

The broader fight over the SAVE America Act did not.

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