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You can only trust yourself to represent you in court after pooping out stolen Tiffany diamonds
Who could forget the story about the man claiming to be the assistant of an Orlando Magic player who stole more than $700k in jewelry? He captivated the country for two weeks last spring after swallowing the stolen goods.
Why two weeks? Because that’s how long it took for nature to run its course and for the police to retrieve the expensive earnings he had ingested.
Jaythan Lawrence Gilder, a reported convicted felon with a lengthy rap sheet, was taken to the VIP room of a Tiffany and Co. jewelry store in an Orlando mall after allegedly claiming he was an NBA player’s assistant.
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He grabbed some of the jewelry they had laid in front of him and headed for the door. He reportedly struggled with the sliding glass door before shoving an employee out of the way as he made his escape.
Police caught up with Gilder in Florida’s panhandle, where he decided to swallow the two sets of diamond earrings worth roughly $770,000 rather than hand them over to police.
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The police then took him to the hospital, producing amazing X-rays revealing what was later confirmed to be, after he pooped them out, the missing Tiffany diamond earrings he was accused of leaving the store with.
As if the story up to that point wasn’t enough, “The Man Who Pooped Tiffany Diamonds,” as The Smoking Gun has nicknamed him, isn’t finished. He’s decided to add to this poopshow by representing himself in court.
That’s right, Jaythan Gilder has rejected a plea deal offered by prosecutors and has decided to represent himself at trial. In a recent court appearance, a judge granted his request to waive his right to counsel.
He will have his court-appointed attorney available for consultation when he enters a courtroom next month in Orlando for the burglary/grand theft case. The 33-year-old from Texas has been in jail since his arrest last year.
What’s the worst thing that could happen when representing himself? Well, he’s facing some serious time as a habitual offender if he’s convicted.
TSG reports that he could face up to 30 years for robbery, with a 15-year mandatory minimum and up to life, with a 30-year mandatory minimum for grand theft.
On one hand, it might not be wise to take this on alone. On the other hand, you don’t want a lawyer trying to explain how stolen earrings ended up in your poop. If anyone is going to do that, it should be you, right?
The world’s largest sporting event, the 2026 FIFA World Cup, is just a few weeks away, returning to North America and the United States for the first time since 1994.
FIFA announced their first ever halftime show for the World Cup Final at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey. In a post on X, featuring Elmo, Coldplay announced that the halftime show would be curated by lead singer Chris Martin and feature BTS, Madonna and Shakira. Shakira is set to release the official song of the World Cup, “Dai Dai,” later Thursday.
The show will also “raise funds for the FIFA Global Citizen Education Fund,” dedicated to “improving access to quality education and football for children around the world.”
FOX broadcasts the entire tournament, with opening matches kicking off on June 11 in Mexico. El Tri hosts South Africa in Mexico City, while South Korea takes on Croatia in Guadalajara.
Then the next day, the other two hosts play their first group stage matches. Canada plays Bosnia and Herzegovina in Toronto in Group B. Then the US Men’s National Team, coming off a rocky past few months of friendlies, plays its first match against Paraguay in Los Angeles. They then head to Seattle to play Australia on June 19, before closing out the group stage against Turkey back in LA on June 25.
Unsurprisingly, given the scale and scope of the tournament, and the stage hosting in the US offers, FIFA is pulling out all the entertainment stops.
Already, soccer’s governing body has set up an extensive list of entertainment to kick off the tournament in the host countries. An opening ceremony in Los Angeles on June 12 will feature music acts like Katy Perry, Future, Anitta, LISA, Rema and Tyla.
“This opening ceremony in Los Angeles represents the extraordinary scale of what the FIFA World Cup 2026 will become,” FIFA President Gianni Infantino said in a statement. “The lineup of artists reflects the cultural diversity of the United States and the vibrancy of its many diasporas, highlighting the nation’s rich influence on music, entertainment and pop culture, while showcasing the power of music to bring people together across the country.”
That ceremony will kick off 90 minutes before the start of the US match, and will complement two additional opening ceremonies in Canada and Mexico. The opening match in Toronto will feature performances by Alanis Morissette, Alessia Cara, Elyanna, Jessie Reyez, Michael Bublé, Nora Fatehi, Sanjoy, Vegedream and William Prince.
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In Mexico, opening ceremony headliners include Alejandro Fernández, Belinda, Danny Ocean, J Balvin, Lila Downs, Los Ángeles Azules, Maná and Tyla.
Prior performers at World Cup finals include stars like Carlos Santana and Wycleaf Jean at the 2014 tournament in Brazil. Will Smith was among those who sang at the 2018 finale in Russia, and Davido, Aisha, Ozuna were part of the 2022 closing ceremony in Qatar.
Over 100 matches. 16 cities hosting in three countries. Over a month’s worth of action, culminating in a momentous finale in New Jersey. The World Cup never fails to deliver.
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