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Valerie Bertinelli says she missed narcissistic red flags in relationships: ‘Made me question my self-worth’

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Making it clear she’s in no rush to get back onto the dating scene, Valerie Bertinelli explained this week that she now actively looks for narcissism “red flags” when meeting men.

In her “Getting Naked” podcast on Wednesday titled “Know Your Narcissist,” Bertinelli revealed that she didn’t even realize she was dealing with narcissism in her own romantic relationships until several years ago after first recognizing it in the fraught political climate.

“I don’t want to throw anybody that’s been in my life under a bus, I just want to talk about experiences that have been challenging and made me question my self-worth,” the “One Day at a Time” star told her guest Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and author.

“When we know who we are, Valerie, when someone is coming at us like the way that narcissistic people do, we can be a lot more steadfast,” the doctor advised. “The only way a narcissistic relationship works is if we abandon ourselves.”

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Bertinelli agreed with her assessment, admitting that in the narcissistic relationships she’d been involved in, “I totally abandoned myself to a point where my family was like ‘Where are you? We need you? Come back to us.’”

She said while she was in the relationships, she didn’t feel that way.

“You feel truly like you’re just going to make this person happy,” the 66-year-old explained. “You know you can do it. ‘I know I can make them happy. I know if I work hard enough, I can make them happy. I know that I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to hurt them, so if they’re telling me that I’m doing these things. I can make myself better.’”

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When Durvasula noted that it’s human to want “intimate relationships,” Bertinelli joked: “Well, I did. I’m not so much want[ing] that right now.”

Durvasula revealed that “a lot of the core of narcissism is this insecurity, this fragility.”

Bertinelli interjected to say that the narcissists she’s known, though, “seem like they’re not insecure. They’re so like — it’s magnetizing to see someone that sure of themselves,” and Durvasula explained that narcissists “are good at what we call expressed self-confidence,” essentially being know-it-alls.

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The doctor further explained that the traits of a narcissist encompass low empathy, arrogance, entitlement, grandiosity and pathological selfishness.

“They can only center [around] themselves,” she added. “They’re status seeking. So, they want whatever is going to make them look powerful to the world. They are not able to tolerate things like frustration, disappointment, stress, or anything that doesn’t sort of prop up that grandiose sort of fantasy of them. They’re driven very much by power, domination, control. They need to be the ones on top.”

And those traits, she explained, show up as “manipulation, invalidation, dismissiveness, gaslighting, rage, silent treatment, competitiveness, making us small so they can feel big, betrayal, promising things that they never follow through on.”

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Prefacing her analysis of her own past relationships with “I can only speak about my own experience and being very careful not to,” Bertinelli said: “I would never ever think that that person had any of those traits, but the way that they showed up was, oh boy, all of the things you said.”

She added that she wanted her podcast to help people from “falling into that trap.”

“I have a little joke that it’s just like, ‘OK, somebody’s got to tell me every single different kind of narcissist there is out there because I need to know what to not fall into.’” she said. “Again, I even talked to my therapist. I said, ‘Please tell me what red flags are exactly so I can keep an eye out for them.'”

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She noted that in a past relationship someone she didn’t name had repeatedly told her she was a narcissist and that she was hurting them.

“And I was like, ‘Well, I don’t want to be hurting people. I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to do all these things. Please, God, tell me.’ And I’m like, at a certain point, I said: ‘I don’t understand why you’re with me. Like I can’t do anything right,’” she said.

But the doctor explained to her that person was manipulating her.

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“‘You will be lovable if you do the things I’m telling you to do,’” she said a narcissist would tell her. “That’s the twist.”

Bertinelli also suggested the person had told her she prioritizes her son, Wolfgang Van Halen, too much, which Durvasula described as a great example of low empathy, when a romantic partner can’t understand that a relationship with your child is a different kind of love.

She added that when Bertinelli thought she was building intimacy with the person by opening up, “you were basically filling an armory with weapons that they were going to use against you.”

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Bertinelli said now if she sees any sign of “love bombing,” where people flatter the other person to manipulate them, she can’t tell if it’s genuine affection or not.

“Because there is a point where like getting love notes or being spoken beautifully to and telling — like there’s a point of letting someone know how you feel about them, and then there’s the love bombing and the like it get moving fast,” she said.

The doctor replied: “Idealization is not a place for a relationship to start. And to all you romantics out there, suck it because I’m going to tell you right now, it is just not.”

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Bertinelli also specified the “insidious” isolation she had experienced in a relationship.

“It starts — it’s not ‘Don’t see your family.’ It’s when you are with your family, they’ll be constantly texting and constantly and starting an argument through texts and calling. And I’m like, ‘I can’t talk right now,’” which she said left her feeling like she couldn’t see her family because it upset her significant other.

After breaking up with her boyfriend of 10 months in late 2024, following her divorce from her second husband in 2022, Bertinelli explained at the Los Angeles Time Festival of Books last weekend that she was “really scared of dating right now.”

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She continued, “I’ve had, you know, two — I’m just scared.”

Bertinelli told Fox News Digital at the panel that she realized for the first time through writing her memoir, “Getting Naked,” “I didn’t give myself enough credit for the strength I already had inside me. And that I’m — that I don’t have to listen to people be negative to me.”

The star said that she was “surprised that I was able to learn that. Finally! That I don’t have to listen to people be horrible to me. I don’t have to tolerate intolerable behavior.”

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She added to Fox News Digital that when she wrote her 2022 book “Enough Already” she thought she had learned that lesson, “but I still put up with intolerable behavior after that.”

“It wasn’t until I really dug down and got to the root of my shame and the dark side that I made friends with it,” she said. “Then I thought, ‘Now I’m done. Now I can just say, f— you. That’s it, I’m done. I’m out,’ you know?”

After divorcing her first husband, Eddie Van Halen, in 2007, she married businessman Tom Vitale in 2010. At the end of their marriage, Bertinelli began to refer to Vitale as “the narcissist,” saying that he emotionally abused her, calling her “fat and lazy.”

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She also called being officially divorced from Vitale the “second-best day of my life.”

Bertinelli began dating writer Mike Goodnough in 2024 and said she was in love, but by year’s end, the relationship had fizzled.

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A year ago, Goodnough claimed Bertinelli was “playing a one-woman tennis match thinking there is someone on the other side of the net” after their breakup, accusing her of falsely making his social media posts about herself and “lashes out angrily” at him.

He also accused her of “hostile, dishonest, and uncalled for backhanded swipes.”

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“Valerie is in a war with her ghosts. I’m just the guy who catches the bullets. And that isn’t new,” he added.

After their breakup, Bertinelli said in an Instagram post she had been “irreversibly changed by him for the better” and said that she had “fumbled the last true good man I met.”

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Charlie Kirk’s Mother Breaks Her Silence After Erika Kirk’s Public Statement

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Charlie Kirk’s Mother Breaks Her Silence After Erika Kirk’s Public Statement

Charlie Kirk’s mother is breaking her silence—and directly confronting the rumors that have swirled around her family and daughter-in-law Erika Kirk in the year since her son was assassinated.

Kathryn Kirk, who has largely remained outside the public spotlight since Charlie’s September 2025 killing, spoke to Vanity Fair about the speculation surrounding the family, Erika’s takeover of Turning Point USA and claims of a bitter private feud.

Her message was unequivocal.

“Here’s the truth: We were 100% behind her,” Kathryn said of Erika’s selection to lead the organization Charlie founded.

Kathryn specifically rejected claims that Charlie’s parents blamed Erika for his death, were battling her over his estate or opposed her taking control of Turning Point USA.

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Instead, she said the unimaginable loss they share has brought the two women closer.

“Erika and I have, through the trauma, grown closer,” Kathryn said.

“We knew Charlie in a way that no one else did,” she added, describing a bond forged through their shared grief.

Kathryn said the two can look into each other’s eyes and understand “the depth of our despair.”

Her comments represent a rare and direct response to months of speculation that has spread across social media following Charlie’s assassination.

Vanity Fair reported that Kathryn became emotional while discussing the relentless scrutiny and accusations directed at Erika.

Kathryn said Charlie would have been deeply upset by the treatment his wife has endured since his murder.

She also acknowledged that her own desire to remain a private citizen inadvertently created a vacuum in which speculation flourished.

Among the claims circulated online have been allegations involving Charlie’s will, his estate, Turning Point USA’s succession plan, tensions between Erika and Charlie’s parents and even suspicions surrounding Erika herself.

But prosecutors have presented no evidence implicating Erika in Charlie’s assassination.

Authorities have instead charged 23-year-old Tyler Robinson with Charlie’s killing. Robinson has pleaded not guilty and is awaiting trial.

A Utah judge recently ruled that prosecutors had presented sufficient evidence at the preliminary-hearing stage for Robinson to stand trial on the charges against him.

His next pretrial conference is scheduled for October 23.

The stakes in the case remain enormous, with prosecutors seeking the death penalty.

Charlie’s security in the period leading up to his assassination has also come under intense scrutiny.

He had been receiving threats before his appearance at Utah Valley University, and discussions were underway about additional protective measures.

According to the Vanity Fair account, Charlie discussed bulletproof shields and protective vests with Erika and their pastor the night before he was killed.

Kathryn said her son intentionally kept his parents out of many of those conversations because he knew the details would intensify their fears for his safety.

The possibility that something could happen to Charlie had also reportedly forced Turning Point officials to confront an uncomfortable question before his death: Who would lead the organization if Charlie no longer could?

According to board members and people close to the organization interviewed by Vanity Fair, Charlie had made his preference clear.

He wanted Erika.

Eight days after Charlie’s assassination, Turning Point USA’s board unanimously elected Erika CEO and chair.

The organization said at the time that Charlie had “expressed to multiple executives that this is what he wanted.”

That account undercuts one of the most persistent narratives surrounding Erika’s rapid elevation—that her takeover represented an unexpected power grab following her husband’s death.

Those close to the organization instead described succession discussions that had taken place before the assassination.

“She knew him more than anyone,” one former Turning Point employee said of Erika.

Vice President JD Vance also defended Erika’s ability to carry Charlie’s organization forward.

“We can never replace Charlie,” Vance said while discussing Erika and the future of Turning Point USA.

But Erika’s new position has placed her under a level of scrutiny few political widows ever face.

Questions about Turning Point’s future have become intertwined with speculation about Charlie’s assassination, his estate and the circumstances surrounding Erika’s rise to the top of the organization.

Vanity Fair identified former Charlie Kirk ally Candace Owens as one of the most prominent voices publicly questioning Erika and aspects of the official account surrounding the assassination.

Owens has argued that Erika should face questioning.

Prosecutors, however, have not accused Erika of participating in her husband’s killing.

The toll of the case was visible during Robinson’s preliminary hearing.

Erika described sitting alongside Kathryn as enhanced surveillance footage of Charlie’s shooting was shown in court.

As the footage depicted the alleged shooter moving into position, Erika said she grabbed Kathryn’s arm and cried.

Erika also recalled insisting on seeing her husband’s body after the shooting despite a doctor initially advising her against doing so.

Now, after largely staying silent as theories about her family spread online, Charlie Kirk’s mother has publicly entered the conversation herself.

And on one of the biggest questions fueling that speculation—whether Charlie’s parents privately blame Erika or oppose her leadership—Kathryn Kirk’s answer could hardly have been clearer.

“Here’s the truth: We were 100% behind her.”

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Jaw-Dropping Details Emerge From Hijacking Attempt On Israel-Bound Flight

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Jaw-Dropping Details Emerge From Hijacking Attempt On Israel-Bound Flight

Harrowing new details are emerging from the midair chaos aboard a Flydubai flight bound for Israel, where officials say one pilot stabbed the other and apparently attempted to bring down the passenger jet before travelers rushed the cockpit and helped stop him.

Flydubai Flight 1073 was traveling from Dubai to Tel Aviv on Wednesday when a violent struggle erupted inside the cockpit, sending the aircraft plunging thousands of feet and triggering emergency alerts before the crew diverted to Saudi Arabia.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said one pilot stabbed the other and “apparently attempted to crash the plane with its passengers on board,” nearly all of whom were Israelis.

The aircraft abruptly reversed course near the Saudi-Jordanian border before making an emergency landing in Tabuk, Saudi Arabia, at approximately 9:45 a.m. local time.

Israeli officials said roughly 160 to 180 passengers were aboard.

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But as the crisis unfolded behind the cockpit door, passengers reportedly realized something was seriously wrong—and some took action.

Netanyahu said an Israeli passenger later described forcing his way into the cockpit with a crew member and helping overpower “the attacking pilot while he was attempting to sabotage the aircraft’s systems.”

“I salute these heroes, who demonstrated extraordinary resourcefulness and courage,” Netanyahu said. “They saved many lives and prevented a disaster.”

Passengers described a terrifying scene as people scrambled toward the front of the cabin while the aircraft remained in flight.

One passenger later said travelers had subdued the alleged attacker and were guarding the wounded captain as the jet approached Saudi Arabia.

Videos apparently recorded aboard the aircraft showed bloodied passengers and an injured man as travelers attempted to process the violent confrontation that had just unfolded.

The attacking pilot was taken into custody and was being questioned by Saudi authorities, according to Netanyahu.

Both pilots were hospitalized with injuries following the incident, according to officials at the Tabuk airport.

Despite the violence inside the cockpit and the aircraft’s dramatic descent, the jet landed safely.

A replacement aircraft later transported the stranded passengers from Saudi Arabia to Tel Aviv.

Israel’s Magen David Adom emergency service said none of the passengers required immediate medical treatment after arriving in Israel.

What prompted the terrifying episode remains under investigation.

Israeli authorities are reportedly examining several possibilities, including whether the incident was an attempted attack targeting Israelis or a suicide attempt.

Flydubai has confirmed that an altercation occurred but has released few details about what sparked the confrontation.

A company spokesperson said crew members on duty were able to secure the aircraft.

The incident initially raised fears of a possible hijacking.

Flight-tracking data showed the aircraft transmitting emergency code 7700, the general aviation emergency signal, before switching to 7500—the transponder code associated with hijacking or unlawful interference. The aircraft later returned to the general emergency code.

Israeli fighter jets were scrambled as security officials monitored the unfolding crisis.

Netanyahu and other senior Israeli officials also held emergency consultations as authorities raced to determine what was happening aboard the aircraft.

What began as a routine flight from Dubai to Tel Aviv had suddenly become a fight for control of a passenger jet thousands of feet above the ground.

And according to Israeli officials, the actions of passengers and crew members inside that cockpit may have prevented the flight from ending in catastrophe.

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House Passes It 237-169 –Dems FLIP And Humiliate Hakeem Jeffires

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House Passes It 237-169 –Dems FLIP And Humiliate Hakeem Jeffires

House Democrats fractured again Thursday as 33 members broke with their party and joined Republicans to approve legislation that could cut off federal funding to colleges participating in certain boycotts of Israel.

The House passed H.R. 4795, the Protect Economic and Academic Freedom Act of 2026, in a decisive 237-169 vote.

Thirty-three Democrats backed the measure, while 167 Democrats joined just two Republicans in voting against it.

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries opposed the legislation, putting him on the other side of the vote from dozens of Democrats who supported new federal consequences for colleges participating in anti-Israel boycotts.

Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi and longtime Democratic Rep. James Clyburn also voted against the bill, exposing a significant divide among House Democrats over Israel, campus activism and the limits of politically motivated boycotts.

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Republican Reps. Thomas Massie of Kentucky and Warren Davidson of Ohio were the only GOP lawmakers to oppose the measure.

North Carolina Republican Virginia Foxx sponsored the legislation, with New Jersey Democrat Josh Gottheimer serving as its Democratic co-sponsor.

At the heart of the bill is a potentially powerful financial penalty.

The legislation would amend federal higher-education law to make covered colleges participating in a “nonexpressive commercial boycott” of Israel ineligible for specified federal higher-education funding.

Federally supported institutions would also be required to certify that students are not “unreasonably obstructed” from participating in academic programs located in Israel.

Supporters argue the measure is aimed at institutional commercial discrimination—not at students protesting, speaking out against Israel or expressing political opinions.

Critics see something very different: a federal funding threat that could chill constitutionally protected political expression and interfere with the independence of American colleges and universities.

Foxx argued that university boycott policies have created hostile environments by “marginalizing Jewish students” and discriminating against people of Jewish faith.

Progressive Democrats fiercely opposed the legislation, arguing Congress is effectively turning political opposition to Israel into grounds for stripping educational institutions of federal support.

New York Democrat Jerry Nadler said he opposes the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement but maintains that Americans who support it retain constitutional protections for political advocacy.

Michigan Democrat Rashida Tlaib went further, delivering a blistering denunciation of the legislation and accusing lawmakers of attempting to suppress pro-Palestinian activism.

“This is an attack on free speech and academic freedom,” Tlaib declared during debate before the final vote.

Tlaib also described Israel as a “genocidal apartheid state,” highlighting the intense rhetoric that has increasingly surrounded the Israel debate among progressive Democrats.

Supporters of the bill rejected that characterization of the legislation, maintaining that it targets institutional commercial conduct rather than individual political speech.

The contentious vote came as House Speaker Mike Johnson faced a separate round of criticism over his decision to send lawmakers home ahead of the November midterm elections.

Johnson canceled votes scheduled for Friday, effectively ending the House’s legislative work until after the election and sending members away from Washington for more than six weeks.

It follows Johnson’s decision to cancel votes during the final two weeks of September.

“The House has done its work,” Johnson, a Louisiana Republican, told reporters at the Capitol.

“It’s time for our members to go home to their districts and make their case to the American people,” Johnson added.

Not every Republican was willing to accept that explanation.

South Carolina Republican Rep. Ralph Norman blasted the decision as “unacceptable.”

“The House has now canceled at least 63 scheduled voting days this Congress, including nine days this month alone, and now we’re leaving Washington until after the election,” Norman wrote on X.

“The Founders did not envision taking this much time off and still getting paid. If Members of Congress want to go home and campaign instead of doing the job taxpayers sent us here to do, then their campaigns ought to be paying them, NOT the American taxpayer. We still have work to do,” Norman added.

Johnson also rejected Democratic demands to cancel the recess so lawmakers could address the rapidly accelerating development of artificial intelligence.

Following warnings from AI researchers and industry leaders about potentially catastrophic risks posed by increasingly capable systems, Democratic lawmakers urged Johnson to keep the House in Washington until Congress could act.

“Congress should not leave town until something is done decisively to protect the safety and the well-being of the American people, in the face of growing concerns being raised by experts within the artificial intelligence industry itself,” Jeffries said Monday.

“Republicans have completely abandoned their responsibility to legislate and engage in public policy efforts in a responsible fashion in the area of artificial intelligence,” Jeffries continued.

The result is a House leaving Washington amid fights on multiple fronts: a bipartisan split over federal funding and Israel boycotts, an escalating battle over free speech and campus policy, mounting criticism over Congress’ lengthy absence from Washington, and unresolved demands for federal action on artificial intelligence.

But Thursday’s 237-169 vote also revealed something increasingly difficult for Democratic leaders to ignore: when it came time to vote on Israel boycotts and federal education dollars, 33 members of their own caucus were willing to break ranks.

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