Over the hump and safely into the best Thursday of the year. OK, well, the second-best Thursday of the year.

Night 1 of the NFL Draft. That’s right. The king returns to his throne tonight after a few months off, and he’s set to steal all the headlines. It’s the NFL’s world, folks, and we just live in it. Get on board or get OUT!

Big night. A lot to get to. Let’s roll.

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps — the one where Jena Sims gears up for the PGA championship with another SI Swimsuit shoot. As one does, of course.

What else? I’ve got NFL Draft night memories with Gia Duddy, “First Take” acting DISGUSTED by the Russini-Vrabel drama, and Queen Kay Adams has found her QB1. Forget Fernando Mendoza, folks. He’s off the board. It’s Ty Simpson time. You’ll see.

OK, let’s get AFTER it. Grab you a Busch Light Apple since they are officially BACK, and settle in for a Thursday ‘Cap!

Look at that. I mean, does it feel like summertime, or what? She’s right around the corner, boys and girls. I can feel it in my bones. I can smell it. And, once I get to the Walmart later today, I will be able to taste it.

That little picture came courtesy of Ryan P, who simply writes:

Zach,

Stocked up for the summer today.

Amen, brother. I actually had a Busch Light Apple about four months ago, long after they were off the shelves. I took most of the fall off for golf, which meant whatever was left in my bag from last summer was still there when I dusted it off after Thanksgiving.

Imagine my delight when I took out my beer-sleeve to reload, and found two Busch Light Apples still at the bottom. In perfect shape, too. I was like a fat kid at the candy shop. What a rush.

Anyway, it’s still been a while since I had one. That changes tonight, assuming my neighborhood Walmart plays ball. We’ll see.

OK, let’s get this class started. I can hear the draft jingle fine-tuning itself. We’re low on time.

Brooks Koepka’s wife, Jena Sims, is ready. Are you?

Brooksie was briefly in contention at Augusta before a rough moving day, but I think he’s close. Jena seems ready to rock and roll ahead of Aronimink next month. Don’t be surprised if Brooks finally puts it all together.

Can’t wait.

Before that, though, we obviously have to get into the biggest story of the day/week/month … Mike Vrabel and Dianna Russini! Yes, the story that just refuses to go away.

It was almost dead until this morning, when Vrabel dropped the … oddly-timed … bombshell that he’d be leaving the team during the draft to seek therapy.

Side note: LOVE that Vrabes didn’t just skip the draft entirely. Can’t miss the first three rounds! That’s when you have to hit. Self-help can WAIT.

Anyway, I said “oddly-timed” because it felt odd. Why would he announce it now, when the story was seemingly dying?

Well …

Ahhhhhh. Now I see why he put out that statement. Makes sense! Goodness gracious. Six years ago! These two animals have been — allegedly — canoodling for over a half-decade. Since before COVID!

Think about that. This Vrabel-Russini drama predates COVID. What a time to be alive. And you know where you’re going to continue reading about it? OutKick.

You know where you ain’t? ESPN!

Rapid-fire time:

I mean, is “First Take” serious here? THIS is where … FIRST TAKE … draws the line? What world am I living in?

Since when does “First Take” have a moral code of conduct?

This is the same show that features Mad Dog Russo screaming like a maniac into the camera every week, right?

The same one where Stephen A. wears a cowboy hat on set 14 times a season just to piss off Dallas fans?

The same one where Cam Newton had some weird, fake drama with Drake Maye all of last season?

Yeah, thought so. Amazing.

So sorry, Shae, that Mike didn’t check into rehab after your precious NFL Draft. Sorry this interrupted the constant LeBron/Cowboys talk. Sorry Mike didn’t hold off on the therapy until Monday so you could avoid talking about it on your show.

The show, by the way, where you get PAID to talk about the biggest sports topics of the day.

PS: Anyone wanna guess who Dianna Russini worked for back in 2020? Ahem …

If you thought ESPN buried this story … whoooooooooof. What drama. Amazing.

Next? Speaking of drama, let’s A) remind everyone that the time to make a pick tonight has been reduced from 10 to 8 minutes, and B) also remind everyone why:

Yes! The infamous 2007 draft. The one where poor Brady Quinn sat in the green room for nearly seven hours while his hot girlfriend went semi-viral. I say “semi” because this was back before the internet really took off. The pre-Twitter days.

Could you imagine if that happened nowadays?!

Oh yeah …

Can’t believe it’s been three years since the world met Gia Duddy. For the Nightcaps OGs who have managed to stick around through the website change, you remember where you met her first, right?

That’s right. Here. In these spaces. We featured Gia the DAY of the draft, hours before anyone else knew who she was.

I’m still waiting for my Pulitzer. Oh well.

OK, that’s it for today. Happy NFL Draft Night everyone.

Take us home, Kay Adams … and Ty Simpson!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Is First Take above the Russini story? Email me at [email protected].